Month: February 2018
Many marriages do not survive the initial phase of marital bliss and whether it be a year or two later or ten years later you may find your self in a marriage dead and lifeless and on the brink of divorce. How to save a dead marriage is not impossible however, but it may seem that way after you have tried to coax some life out of it and failed. With the right approach, the right attitude and some knowledge of psychology and communication you can turn things around and return the spark of passion, love and commitment to your marriage if you can deal with the resentment issues that plague it.
Resentment
Often marriages struggle and falter over time as resentment over various issues sets in. In a marriage that seems dead it might not show in arguments and heated debate but instead in cold silence and petty grudges, in fact if there were more arguments then at least there would be some communication! This resentment in yourself or your partner may be caused by money issues, affairs, ambition, drug use or many other things that have happened and have not been resolved and no healthy loving marriage can continue without the specter of divorce if you resent your spouse or they resent you.
How to resolve these problems in your dead marriage are obviously the answer but how do you deal with such marital problems? Whole books have been written on this subject so for this article I will provide you with the simple version:
* Communicate – Talk about the issues calmly and do not make it an argument, just get all the facts down and be aware of all the issues so they are in the open no matter how hard it might be.
* Compromise – Nearly all resolutions require both sides to compromise on some issues. Make sure you have a plan on resolution that requires both of you to do something even if it is a very one sided problem.
* Action – Do not just talk about it, take some action immediately! How to save a dead marriage hinges on you solving these problems not just making plan and saying things will change. You must move on this and fast!
Cheating is something that shakes relationships that are in any stage. Whether your relationship has lasted for many years or you are just in the initial stages, cheating can easily bring a lot of ‘bad blood’ between you. Although dealing with affairs can be quite challenging, you do not have to let it bring down your relationship.
Cheating is very damaging because it hits at the foundation of a relationship – trust. Cheating is a betrayal of trust irrespective of the stage at which your relationship is. While people usually think of marriage when speaking about cheating, trust is something that develops before you make the commitment. If a partner cheats before marriage, it will still be a mark of betrayal of trust.
Whether you are married or not, cheating can still take place. Does what you do feel as if you are not honest with your partner? If you feel that you need to keep what is going on from your partner then you are effectively cheating.
Whatever the case, you should understand that it is only you and your partner who can decide whether you want to strengthen your relationship or part ways. This means that you will need to discuss the issue and reach a solution that you both agree on. Maintaining a stony silence will not magically make the problem disappear, and none of you will feel any better.
If you want to deal with cheating before marriage, here are some of the measures that you should consider.
Make a decision one way or the other
It will understandably be difficult to deal with cheating, even more so if your relationship has been around for quite some time. You will need to decide whether you want to end the relationship or go on and develop a stronger bond. When cheating occurs before marriage, you can use this as a stepping stone toward building a stronger relationship. You may decide to make a stronger commitment that will make your relationship have more official grounds. This form of commitment does not necessarily have to be marriage, but it should at least be formal.
Have time for your partner
We live in a busy world where people have hectic schedules. You may be so busy with other commitments that you push your relationship to the background. You may leave just leftover time for your partner, which will strain your relationship. You should include your partner in your itinerary, scheduling time for just the two of you. When you spend quality time together, neither of you will have the time to contemplate another relationship.
If you are getting a visa for Australia as a partner (as a spouse, de facto, fianc and interdependent), you will be asked to provide proof of genuine and continuing relationship. Whether you are applying for the first time as for a temporary Australia visa or for a more permanent partner visa, this is often included as part of the requirements.
One of the things you can present is a statement or statutory declaration outlining the history of your relationship. It can include details such as how, when and where you first met. You may also include details of how your relationship developed, when you decided to get married or start a defacto relationship and your current domestic arrangements. If youve had periods of separation, this must also be included with reason why the separation occurred and when. Your future plans are also a vital part of your declaration.
There are also four categories that need to be accomplished as evidence of your ongoing relationship: financial aspect, nature of the household, social context of the relationship and the nature of your commitment to each other.
When applying for a partner visa for Australia, you will be required to provide evidence that you share financial commitments and responsibilities such as joint ownership of assets, sharing of finances, legal commitments, or having joint bank accounts.
You will also be asked to provide evidence that you and your partner share responsibilities within the household as part of your Australia visa application. This may include your living arrangements, distribution of housework, joint ownership of rental of the residence, utilities accounts, living expenses and more.
For social context, you would need to provide evidence that shows you and your partner are generally accepted as a couple socially (ie in invitations), the assessment of your friends, declaration to government parties, statutory declarations made by parents and family members. Joint participation in groups, travel, sports cultural events and social activities are also acceptable evidence.
You may also be asked to provide evidence on the nature of your commitment to each other, including knowledge of each others personal circumstances, intention that the relationship will be long-term, terms of wills, etc.
It is advised that you provide as much evidence as you can that will support the stability of your relationship. You may be asked to provide information during the processing of your Australian visa.
Being in love is one of the most beautiful experiences that a person can have. After all, we were made for love. We are made for someone and that is our usual hope and prayer, to be forever intertwined as lovers. If you are madly in love right now, you would probably ask or say, “O how I wish this love of ours to last for a lifetime.” It is easier said than done. The reality is that we need to work on the relationship so that the relationship can work for us. Here are some tips on how to make your relationship last.
One proven way for a long lasting relationship is prayer. Why is prayer included? It is because, in the totality of it, God has a greater plan for our love life. Once we pray together, we find our intentions purified and constantly evaluated to God’s divine standard. Praying enables us to live out God’s way of loving. And that is to be unconditional, honest, and faithful to your love one.
The second is to have simple talks together. A simple talk can lead to beautiful conversations of dreams and plans for both of you to look forward to.
Third is to think big in your relationship. That is not limiting your mindset to just having months together but rather expanding it though years of spending life with your love one. You will have enough reasons to stay in love because you see yourselves still together in the future.
Fourth, is having a regular evaluation and assessment about your relationship. This could be set on a monthly basis. This habit settles the concerns of both parties. It leads to better performance in your relationship since it is evaluated. It gets you from point A to B. It promotes forgiveness, assurance and trust, which are important elements to a long lasting relationship.
Fifth, is spending quality time together. We must not look at the quantity of our time spent but at the quality of it. It is important to regularly spend vacations together, to break out from work and stress and plainly just focus about your relationship together.
Sixth is to strive be the best that you can be. Getting better and better could mean that you are growing in your relationship. If you strive to be the best person, you will give enough reasons for your lover to keep you.
Seventh tip is to seek mentors. Find couples out there who have been there ahead of you. Seek their advice and guidance. They can help you when the going gets tough for you both.
Eight, is to practice the 5 A’s in the relationship. Affirm, Appreciate, Aspire, Assure, Affection
Ninth, is to do what’s the best for you both. Sometimes this involves waiting for the right time in your relationship. Seeing the best is doing what’s the best for you both, even if it entails sacrifice.
Tenth, is to set boundaries in your relationship. It could mean not going out on other dates or occasions where a problem could arise in your relationship.
Eleventh, is to stay true to your commitment. Being honest and loyal are virtues integral to a relationship.
Twelfth, is to indulge in humor. Create funny moments together. Do crazy things worth remembering. Take it easy sometimes. Enjoy the journey. After all, if that person can’t laugh with you, he or she can’t cry with you too.
These twelve tips is your road map to success in your relationship with your lover. Put your heart into it, and your heart will put into what you will do.
Getting your girlfriend back may seem like the most challenging task on the planet. It doesn’t have to be though. Many men make it much more difficult than is required. You see, you’ve been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it’s meant to be. That’s not the case at all.
In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy suggestions you can follow that really can help you get her back. Below are a few things you should remember if you want to win her back.
Stop Living in the Past
Turn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Living in relationship past robs both of you of all the joy of each day together when you’re in the relationship. Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a very clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.
Become the Man You WANT to Be
This is hard for most men. It’s something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called The Kid, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he’d become saying, “So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.”
Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that does not mean you can’t take measures to be the man you want to be — even though that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you wish to be. Then you must handle the task of becoming that man.
How does that Help You Get the Girl?
Life doesn’t always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to actually get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop looking to recapture a past that was not as picture perfect as you remember, you’ll be able to gain a new outlook on the future. One thing is certain. Once you become the man you WANT to be, the here and now, the PRESENT, is something she will WANT to be part of.